You’re going to die…

I know that we all know this but I wonder how differently you would live if you realized that we don’t know when that moment will be.

I always try and check myself in situations that upset me. I ask myself if the person with whom I’m upset with died today would this really matter. Almost always the answer is no.

I’m not saying we should just be passive and take whatever people give to us. I just know most of the “big deal” issues aren’t really important.

I think being honest and communicating with the person is good. Not holding a grudge or talking to everyone but the person you are upset with.

I find a lot of people come to me almost looking for validation for their feelings “I know I shouldn’t feel this way”. I always tell them that feelings are not open for opinion. You are feeling them for a reason. The thing to do is figure out why. After you truly figure out why you are feeling how you are address the issue with the person. Explain how they made you feel and why. Outside of that it is beyond your control. You are only in control of yourself. People are always going to make you mad, sad, you name it. It’s how we react that is important.

I know so many people that wish they could talk to someone for a minute, just to set things right. We don’t always have the chance.

Love,
M

“Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.” Tyrion Lannister

“Everyone faces defeat. It may be a stepping-stone or a stumbling block, depending on the mental attitude with which it is faced.” Napoleon Hill

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“We do not know the causes [of any mental illness]. We don’t have the methods of ‘curing’ these illnesses yet.” —Dr. Rex Cowdry, psychiatrist and director of National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), 1995

 

This video makes my heart hurt.

I accidentally came across this video today. I know that there are people who have mental illness. I just think this video is worth the time it takes to watch based strictly on the ability to identify yourself in this epidemic and cut the strings that psychiatrist pull.

Love,

Dear Yesterday, Goodbye.

Just a reminder…,

Love yourself.

Love yourself for who you are today and know that you can be whoever you want to be. You are the only person that is holding yourself back! Not what your family, friends, strangers, coworkers, anyone thinks of you!!!

If you don’t like who you’ve become, change. Today!

Love,
Dear Yesterday, Goodbye.

I’ve built a wooden heart inside this iron ship, to sail these blood red seas and find your coasts. Don’t let these waves wash away your hopes this war-ship is sinking, and I still believe in anchors

WOODEN HEART (SEA OF MIST CALLED SKAIDAN)

We’re all born to broken people on their most honest day of living
and since that first breath… We’ll need grace that we’ve never given
I’ve been haunted by standard red devils and white ghosts
and it’s not only when these eyes are closed
these lies are ropes that I tie down in my stomach,
but they hold this ship together tossed like leaves in this weather
and my dreams are sails that I point towards my true north,
stretched thin over my rib bones, and pray that it gets better
but it won’t won’t, at least I don’t believe it will…
so I’ve built a wooden heart inside this iron ship,
to sail these blood red seas and find your coasts.
don’t let these waves wash away your hopes
this war-ship is sinking, and I still believe in anchors
pulling fist fulls of rotten wood from my heart, I still believe in saviors
but I know that we are all made out of shipwrecks, every single board
washed and bound like crooked teeth on these rocky shores
so come on and let’s wash each other with tears of joy and tears of grief
and fold our lives like crashing waves and run up on this beach
come on and sew us together, tattered rags stained forever
we only have what we remember

I am the barely living son of a woman and man who barely made it
but we’re making it taped together on borrowed crutches and new starts
we all have the same holes in our hearts…
everything falls apart at the exact same time
that it all comes together perfectly for the next step
but my fear is this prison… that I keep locked below the main deck
I keep a key under my pillow, it’s quiet and it’s hidden
and my hopes are weapons that I’m still learning how to use right
but they’re heavy and I’m awkward…always running out of fight
so I’ve carved a wooden heart, put it in this sinking ship
hoping it would help me float for just a few more weeks
because I am made out of shipwrecks, every twisted beam
lost and found like you and me scattered out on the sea
so come on let’s wash each other with tears of joy and tears of grief
and fold our lives like crashing waves and run up on this beach
come on and sew us together, just some tattered rags stained forever
we only have what we remember

My throat it still tastes like house fire and salt water
I wear this tide like loose skin, rock me to sea
if we hold on tight we’ll hold each other together
and not just be some fools rushing to die in our sleep
all these machines will rust I promise, but we’ll still be electric
shocking each other back to life
Your hand in mine, my fingers in your veins connected
our bones grown together inside
our hands entwined, your fingers in my veins braided
our spines grown stronger in time
because are church is made out of shipwrecks
from every hull these rocks have claimed
but we pick ourselves up, and try and grow better through the change
so come on yall and let’s wash each other with tears of joy and tears of grief
and fold our lives like crashing waves and run up on this beach
come on and sew us together, were just tattered rags stained forever
we only have what we remember

“Vi veri veniversum vivus vici”

The truth has been one of the most empowering realizations of my 30 years on this earth. It is not always pleasant but worth it beyond words. I’m coming to find most people ask for the truth but rarely ever want it.

I decided to truly be honest with everyone I encounter. It is strange sometimes, the look I get in return. I’m never rude, frank but not rude. I get confused by people’s rebuttal to the truth, even things I’ve seen with my own eyes or heard with my own ears. I had never really noticed this till I quit playing the pretend game myself.

Sometimes I feel as if the more I dig into myself, life, human behavior the further I become from the rest of the world.

Love,

M

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