I have complete alcohol blackouts due to occasional emotional induced binge drinking. I don’t know why I even consume alcohol knowing I shouldn’t. The shame that comes afterwards clings so tightly. I know being hard on oneself delays the process of trying to learn why and try to better yourself so the next time I hopefully make a better decision like not drinking. Ugh! I go 6+ months without a drop and then out of nowhere it creeps up and I fall.
Just sharing to try and get it out of my head.
Anyways, I hope wherever you are you are well.